We had the pleasure of hearing Bob Weber speak Thursday night, and he gave a fantastic talk titled “The Lost Art of the Legitimate Argument”—about what makes arguments effective and where they often go wrong. He framed a good argument as a balance of ethos (credibility), pathos (emotion), and logos (logic), drawing on the wisdom of the ancient Greeks. According to Bob, when we lean too heavily on just one—say, pure logic without any empathy—we lose the opportunity to truly connect or persuade. Arguments, he said, should be less about winning and more about understanding and growth.

He used examples from Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, and a humorous reference to what he called the “Columbo effect”—a tactic where the famously disheveled TV detective would lower defenses and catch suspects off guard with a seemingly casual, last-minute question. (If you’re too young to remember Columbo, look for it on Prime Video—it’s worth watching.)

Bob also shared the all-too-familiar story of arguing with his kids. No matter how well we try to reason with them, it usually ends with that classic parental line: “Because I said so,” or “That’s just the way it is.” His point was that sometimes we have to fall back on authority when real conversation breaks down.

Bob’s message was clear: a well-rounded argument involves listening, showing that you care, and making your case thoughtfully. It was funny, insightful, and honestly made me rethink the way I handle disagreements.